Bobble-Boobs

I went to Austin Texas last week for my brother's birthday party.  He's 40 now.  Having one of my younger brother's cross that threshold makes me feel a bit elderly.  But probably not as elderly as my parents feel now...2 kids in their 40's...yikes.

Austin is a very cool city.  It was my 2nd visit there, and since I had access to a car, and a list of party related errands to run, I drove myself around quite a bit.  It was nice knowing where I was going.  Didn't feel like as much of an outsider as I did on my previous visit.  I love all the shops and buildings there.  Everything looks authentically cool.  Even run-down buildings look shabby chic.  I could live there.  If I could afford it.

There are a lot of people there with a lot of net worth.  My SIL is a personal trainer, and most of her clients are incredibly wealthy.  I joked with her that I am her pro-bono client, and all the rich women of Austin help pay for my training.  Thank you very much rich women of Austin.

While I was there, SIL and I went to the YMCA to work out.  I took a spinning class, and SIL did free weights. She's bad-ass.  Weights still scare me.  Anyway, because she had never been there before, and we didn't know how fast the spinning class would fill up, we got there about 1/2 hour early.  She went downstairs to be all bad ass with the dumb bells, and I found the spinning room.  I'm sorry...it was actually called "Indoor Cycling."  I didn't realize spinning has been around long enough that it required re-branding to remain cool.

It was upon entering this room that I had my very first one on one, up close and personal interaction with another Austin phenomenon...Bobble-Boob Syndrome.

Bobble-Boob Syndrome, or BBS for short, is not my name for it.  I don't know where the name came from, but when you have seen it, you know it.  I'm also quite aware that this is not a Syndrome isolated to Austin.  It's probably a global issue.

SIL explained to me that BBS occurs when a woman is married to either a celebrity or wealthy business man; is fearfully thin; and simultaneously sports a ginormous set of breast implants.

My first interaction with a woman with BBS was eye-opening for me.  She was incredibly friendly and chatty, and told me all about the instructor, how tough the class was, and how much she loved it.  After she got her bike all set up, she started peddling and didn't stop for the entire class.  It was still over 20 minutes before class started, by the way.

She was originally from Indiana, so she told me how much she appreciated growing up in the Midwest  and how Midwestern values were so different from other parts of the country.  All the while, I'm watching her pedal away calories that she desperately needed.

She was very well-tanned skin and bone.  I could see every rib.  I could see the BACK of her pelvis bones.  She had to be a size 0, yet she had DD girls.  All the while decked out in about $300 worth of Lululemon workout clothes.  I was honestly amazed that she her body supported her through the workout.  I have rarely ever glanced at an athlete and had the word "sinew" drift through my head.

Apparently, a large part of BBS is the overwhelming pressure to stay thin in an effort to keep your celebrity and/or wealthy husband.  The celebrity and/or wealthy men of the greater Austin area must really suck.

The class was great.  I had to leave early because we had some party errands to run, but I got a good work out in and sweat a lot.  Me and my $9 XL capri leggings from Walmart headed out to the car.

I left that room energized, and completely grateful for the husband I have.  The husband that loves me even though my ass has probably doubled in size since we got married.  The husband that loves me even if my DDs sag down towards my belly button when my bra comes off instead of standing at attention.  The husband that loves me enough that I don't feel pressure to practically starve myself.  The husband that loves me enough to let me go on a Lululemon shopping spree...

OK...the shopping spree might have been pushing it.  I'll stick with Walmart workout gear for now, besides, Lulu doesn't make much for bigger girls.  But for those with BBS...they'll hook you up.